loust soul.

too much on my mind. money money money. car. job. school. clothes. life. where in life do I wanna be? where in life do I wanna go? save save save. that's what gets you to where you wanna be. that's where you wanna go. do something you love? what do I love? I love...love! that's what gets me by. im so free spirited. im a little too down. im a little too crazy. I just need to pipe it down. I wanna go here. I wanna go there. I need to stop dreaming for a second and remember what I have right now. I imagine things happen overnight.

2013

Well, nothing has changed. Still no bestfriend in site. Feeling lonely is something I easily cope with, I've just gotten used to it. Dreaming is something I tend to do a lot. I've also come to the conclusion that I'm slowly becoming awkward towards guys. So I think, but not really. I also fallback when someone becomes too close. My guards are up HIGH, sometimes I can barely see on the other side.

DECEMBER 21ST, 2009

Thats the day I started this blog. My journey of my heartbreaks and love. its about to be 4 years...... but yet when i write on here I still feel completely the same as I did when I first wrote Dec. 21st, 2009. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing, but I'm going to consider it Bad. Damn.

I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

I admit it. I, Kiara Gaulding am a Hopeless Romantic. i never really knew what it was until I told this guy, "I guess you can say I am a hopeless romantic." He had no idea what a hopeless romantic really was so he looked it up on google and read it aloud. Word from word, sentence to sentence the definition clearly defined my love life and how my perspective of love is. Its stupid. To sum it up, in his words, ' I wear my heart on my sleeve.' side not, just a couple days before that i posted on twitter 'I wear my heart on my sleeve! Happy Tuesday!' oh love...why must i care and search for you.

The Game

The Game. let me tell you bout the game. it will never end. even if your in a relationship. tests, teasing, the pain, the hurt. its all recycled by the one or anyone. if you do something bad, they’ll repeat it to show you how it feels. they want you to feel what they were feeling. and so on. and on. and on. and on. until you will have nothing. & then you consider yourself a hopeless romantic imagining life as if your dreams.. as if your dreams will soon be reality. thinking as yourself as heartless, you will be heartless. being negative is not seeing the grass on the other side. the game is a hole & the more you play, the more your digging yourself into the hole. how to get yourself out of the hole? thats easy. DONT CARE ABOUT LOVE. being in it, finding someone, dreaming about it, tumbling about it. cause thats giving yourself hope. aka ‘hopeless romantic’. not caring huh? that easy huh? thats probably the most difficult advice I’ve ever given to you. or it just me?

The life I live is motivation to where I want to be.
No traffic along the way.
But everyone you love following you and supporting you along the
Way gets stuck behind?
I get lonely being ahead.
Wishing I could slow down, but when I try to catch up they stop.
They want to find their own way and face the traffic alone.
You can only learn from your mistakes.
Experience makes perfect.
Never a failure, always a lesson.
I

The new year is coming around and I still have no love to be found.
2009,2010,2011, now 2012...............I'm speechless.