Thru the pain.

Thru the pain, i feel happy.
Thru the pain, the bad is gone.
I need to feel happiness through a person.
through the opposite sex.
No more flaws.
I need to see thru the pain.

internal.

Internally I'm dying inside.
Internally I only have myself,
Sadly I only have myself externally too.
Internally I am sad, but its slowly showing externally.
I am becoming weaker inside and becoming weaker on the outside.
I have came to the point where crying is my relief, and crying is my fear.
The fear of showing weakness externally gives me even more weakness internally.
I need strength.
I need love, I need more of it to feel happy and above.
I am below it all, waiting something to let me in to the top.
Patience is the key.
My patience is loosing.
Impatience is winning, internally and externally.

Thank you writing for letting me relieve myself, instead of showing my fear!

vent

yes, for the only time im going to say it.

I LOVE YOU.

depression.

happiness is no longer within my surroundings.
my heart is apounding.
my happiness is words, within a song.
and a guitar to sing along.

there is always sunshine,
rain is false.
there is always sunshine,
its raise my pulse.

loose.

i loose you, i loose him, i loose all.
i loose all of the opposite gender the ones who ive trust.
you,bf,princetopher, and my daddy.

great.
feeling lost, but slowly getting stronger without them.
trying to turn my frown upside down.

little girl.

You have a heart full of gold.
you have a heart full of spirit.
you have it all but its stuck inside.
your hide your pride.

but why?

Little Girl
where is the trust you once had?
let it be free,
experience and be me.
Little Girl
be happy and not sad.
we all have fear and our days of tears.

You leave yourself behind those bars,
stuck in your past scars.
Little Girl, it is the present day your future is her and to stay.

so fly!

Little Girl,
you have the potential to be it all!
let it be free,
experience and be me.
Pretty Lady,
you have opened your eyes and soared to share to the world,
the world you once called your own.

from my journal.

I feel so broken.
i feel so hurt.
i feel so in the dirt.
im so blind, boy blind.
because your the only boy on my mind.

Friends thats all,
nothing anymore...nothing at all.
you say the things you say that blows my heart away
to me those words stain and are forever.
to you it fades away.
its hard to walk away from the history we have had,
but now i have to find someone else that makes me happy
and not sad.
glad i have no more limits and its not only you.
i can find someone to give me the love that i know
is official and true.