its different.

the thought process of love,
it doesnt fit along the lines with you
& im convinced its untrue.
but when i feel blue,
somehow all i think about is you.

the way you make me feel comforable and secure,
there is never a blurr in the picture
its always clear
i feel no tension or fear.

i have a feeling your going to think this is about you.

as it comes.

as life goes on i learn more and more about myself.
to remember who i am, im going to write it here.

1. im not the type of person to brag about what i want, unless its my mom cause she is the only who can make it happen.

2. i want trey songz.

during this point of time,

my life is going great!
everything is going great.

<3

welcome to the good life.

life is good.
life is great.
life is something we all create.
i feel happiness. i feel love. i feel higher than up above.
my friends. my family. they give me the musts i need.
no more inside bleed.

although it comes randomly at times,
makes me not myself and it shows real fine.
ill overcome the deep sadness,
because the good life is welcomed in my life,
mission accomplished.

confidence.

i am loosing confidence in myself.
i stopped believeing.
i am too hard on myself that give me negativity.
i hate negativity but yet it has grown on me so much.

im going to kill this plant and stomp on it like i do with flowers.
but flowers are 'pretty positive'.
i crush them because i am not pretty positive.

i see myself in the mirror and see n.a.s.t.y
i see ugliness, i dont see the prettiness of how think of it in me.
why?
i ALWAYS get told other wise, that im not.
why do i see the flaws first?
why cant i see the pretty within myself?

in the mirror there are different views we see of each other.
i no longer want to see myself as my view, i want to see it in some else's view.
where they see my 'pretty positive'.

i need to overcome the fear of me being ugly because i am told i am not, and i should be happy for how i have deformed into this beautiful human creature.

everyday 'HELLO BEAUTIFUL' on my hand will remind me i have beauty and not to doubt that i am not.

in my new eyes, there is no ugly human creature in this world.
ugly is not a word in my vocabulary, anything negative is not in my vocabulary.

happiness.

FAMILY.
FRIENDS.
MUSIC.
ART.
FASHION.
ASTROLOGY.

gives me infinite love.

just in a quick sec.

once i thought change of good hit my life
change of bad happens.

what do i do wrong? there are saying i didn't do anything, but then why are their still problems?
reality check.
nothing can never go back to how it used to be, once its changed ITS CHANGED.
no matter what you do or try or think its not going to be the same.

so what do you do when things are not the way you want them to be?
run. be away, feel away.
avoidance. ignorance. little kid shit.


oh well. helps me move on with my life instead of going through pointless shit.

Sister Act 2 is inspiring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn3ZfpjfPBM&feature=related
HIS EYE IS ON THE SPARROW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLY7yI1xV-M
OH HAPPY DAY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLWhfxq8Jhs&feature=related
JOYFUL JOYFUL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcgscTnXRzA&feature=related
SOMEBODY