confidence.

i am loosing confidence in myself.
i stopped believeing.
i am too hard on myself that give me negativity.
i hate negativity but yet it has grown on me so much.

im going to kill this plant and stomp on it like i do with flowers.
but flowers are 'pretty positive'.
i crush them because i am not pretty positive.

i see myself in the mirror and see n.a.s.t.y
i see ugliness, i dont see the prettiness of how think of it in me.
why?
i ALWAYS get told other wise, that im not.
why do i see the flaws first?
why cant i see the pretty within myself?

in the mirror there are different views we see of each other.
i no longer want to see myself as my view, i want to see it in some else's view.
where they see my 'pretty positive'.

i need to overcome the fear of me being ugly because i am told i am not, and i should be happy for how i have deformed into this beautiful human creature.

everyday 'HELLO BEAUTIFUL' on my hand will remind me i have beauty and not to doubt that i am not.

in my new eyes, there is no ugly human creature in this world.
ugly is not a word in my vocabulary, anything negative is not in my vocabulary.