new year new change.

New Year New change, why should i hold on?Sometimes when you love something too much you just HAVE to let go. its been almost two years and its going absolutely no where.
1. there is someone else.
2. you live in texas.
3. im confused on who you love.

i dont want to be in love with someone who is loves me but is in love with someone else.its heartbreaking. i just want you, but i cant. i never will. and its a new year .... why repeat the new year with this year, i should move on. i need to move on.
i need to fall in love with someone else. but know this there is no one i can find like you and thats all i will be searching for..... is you. but i need to let go of YOU. find a new YOU. find someone else who can love me the way i want to be loved with no other distractions or intrupptions in the way.

trust me this will be hard for me,probabaly the hardest thing. ive been trying to give up on you for so long. its been too long trying. just too long. so i think ive decided, its a new year i need change and i need a new years revolution.

and my new years revolution is to let go of you. :( its for the best for me.i cant continue you my life always wondering and wanting you and loving you with nothing being done. i dont think you understand how big of a deal this is to me because you were the one...the one i want to talk to everyday and be with everyday and be completely myself and tell EVERYTHING to. but now your going to be gone and its just going to be me. i wish i didnt have to this but its REALLY time. im probably going to loose myself for the new year and fall apart because im giving up on you and loosing the person i love and who has my heart.


im sorry.

Questions with no answers.

Questions with no answers.

what is love?...is it a feeling that you'll never forget? how do you know its love...do you just know?

cause i think i am in love.

i thought it was impossible for me to love because im so picky and the guy i 'thought' i love loves someone else.could you still be in love if the guy you love loves someone else but you KNOW he loves you. love...i dont even like to say that word. its so strong. it means so much. but there are different kinds of love. but the love im talking about is that one everybody looks for searches for and is hard to find. the romatic love. I dont think love should just be thrown around, like the phrase "i love you" just dont say it. mean it! mean it with everything. mean it like your life depeneded on it. just mean it! cause ' i love you ' are some strong words. it makes a difference in peoples life. a difference where they see life in a different angle. they have a new perspective of life and a new goal. love is just something everybody wants even if it means to fake it. just pretending you have it. or maybe being mistaken for love for infatuation. thats why i ask... how do you know its love?
heartbreak.thats a horrible feeling. it feels like the world is falling apart but not for better but for worse. its weird cause when your thinking of nothing your really thinking of something.heartbreak.and then when your thinking of something your thinking of heartbreak. i dont even know if that even made sense but basically your constantly thinking about the person you love....now is that how you know your in love? by always thinking of that person no matter what your thinking or doing? ......i miss him. i love being with him. he really knows how to make a gal smile and laugh and just be high. when im around him i dont even need weed. he makes me high. he is like my weed. like i dont know, he is just amazing. i looked past his flaws for the longest and just look at him and see him......sucks, he is with her. i dont care what he says he still loves her. and im just another path. and he still hasnt decided which path to take but i know he wants to go down mine but he is stuck on walking down hers and thats ohkay. i think of other peoples happiness before mine and thatll make her happy. i hate seeing someone sad and heartbroken so id rather feel the pain of someone else rather then them feel it..itll make me happy. dont worry bout me, i can handle it. i mean i know people have issuses in their life and say dont judge them because of what they went through but i dont know. dont judge me because id rather be all depressed and sad for them just to make them happy, if that makes sense.
i dont know where im going with this, but im just in love with someone i shouldnt be and its heartbreaking that he is with someone else even though i shouldnt care but you cant help who you love and you cant help but care.
and "i dont care" should be an 'iloveyou' phrase.....if you REALLY dont care say it.but if you do care dont just say 'idontcare' just to say it and just runaway from the fact you care so much, just dont say anything at all....then nobody gets hurt.
cause knowing you care so much bout one person and knowing they dont even care one bit....it HURTS. it burns. it scars. its heartbreaking.
love is heartbreaking but amazing.heartbreak is love that is/was amazing.
thats why everybody wants it, love is a hunt for the treasure of feeling absolutely........undescrible.