i want change.

i want change in my life. i hate the old, but i love the past.
the past brought me who i am today, but i want change.
i want change to become my past and be the present now.

i love change.
its new adventures, and i love adventures.
trying something new is being something new to me and i love new things.
i want change, i want new change.

im trying to find new friends and new things to get invovled with.
i love all my friends now and what im invovled in now, but its old.
old isnt new. old isnt a new adventure.
once your old pair of shoes are worn out dont you want new ones?

its just like shoes for me, but i still keep all my shoes no matter what.
even if they dont fit anymore, just like my friends.
ill always have my friends even if we dont talk anymore.
i will ALWAYS be there for them, even if they havent been there for me.
i still have a heart i still am human i stil have feelings.
& so do they.

but change is good. it brings life into place.
and my life is on the go to find change to settle down right.

less is more.

caring less, but really caring more is hard to hide.
i dont what to really feel or show because i dont want the one with the broken heart in the end.
id rather care less than the other person in the relationship to protect myself.

so if that means one word text instead of one page text....i will do, just protect myself for the aching pain of heartbreak.

always has. always will.

No one gets me. no one understands me, but myself.
i try to open up myself and be myself around people i trust, but they dont get ME.
they love me, but yet they dont. well at least in my eyes they dont.

when im sad and heartbroken i just want to lay around and watch cute love movies,
but no.
"this movie is gay"
.....uhm "ya it is!" i really dont this it is, its only the beginning didnt even give the movie a chance to explain the story.

ya.

i wish people knew or comprehend my feelings. i guess its just me.
always has been. always will.
ive tried enough. there is no one.

If people dont like it then oh well...find someone new. dont be around me. fuck me.
ill find new people, people who sorta understand me.
Im me and thats all im ever going to be and guess what this year 2010 im standing up for ME.

2010 im standing up the who i am, the real me. hate it or love it, ITS ONLY ME. always has always will.

the quote.

God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you. To make you into the person you were meant to be.